Engaging Difference: Complex Identities In a Hearing World

Do you know how many languages a Deaf person can use? Would you be able to distinguish between British Sign Language (BSL) and American Sign Language (ASL)? You may know the subtle differences between spoken American English and British English after all. But would you be able to identify one of the nearly 300 Deaf languages?

Liberalism, or the belief in a common humanity, is a great fallacy. An inability to see difference obscures the realities people live with on a day-to-day basis.

“They would talk really slow, overly enunciating every syllable, or talk really loud at me,” Dr. Dominique Fray-Aiken describes her experiences as a Deaf person. “[None] of those communication styles ever helped me and made me feel extremely embarrassed.”

It isn’t that Deaf people try to hide their languages from hearing people. It’s that our culture doesn’t make any space for them. Many Deaf people are able to fit in and adjust to a hearing world. 

“I recently read a quote somewhere that loosely stated that minority groups are not hard to reach, but rather they are easy to ignore... [and] from my personal experiences, not only did I feel easy to ignore, but I felt “expensive” for institutions.”

We make Deafness into a problem. We don’t know how to cross cultural barriers or how to make room for Deaf culture within our own lives. 

“All I ask is that you simply try,” Dr. Fray-Aiken says. “Too many times I’ve come across people and institutions where they simply dismissed my communication needs and put in place what they think is best for me...By trying to match my communication style, I see that you are trying to put in an effort to meet me and my needs.”

Dr. Fray-Aiken argues the need to explore multi-layered elements of Deaf identities. This helps us to see the joys and struggles. We can explore the parts which are woven together to create unique individuals.

“My first time seeing someone who looked like me (Black) and seemed quite proud of his Deaf identity...” Dr. Fray-Aiken recalls. “I [met] a young Black British lad who identified as Deaf and signed when I attended an event for Deaf youths in London. To be honest, I was quite in awe when I saw him. I did not communicate directly to him as I [did] not know British Sign Language (yet).”

Sign language isn’t the only way Deaf people communicate. Dr. Fray-Aiken prides herself as being an avid lip-reader. With the recent pandemic, she has struggled with this ability because of the masks. 

Our government, education, films, and literature focus on spoken language. Even our social activists speak of a voice for every person. Our current society is being confronted with issues of equality. We are removing the statues and ghosts of our country’s past, wishing to work towards a more sustainable future.

This is a time of identity politics—when different groups come to the forefront and demand recognition. 

“It was not until I did my doctoral research in the UK that I truly understood that Deaf communities are small in comparison to the dominant, hearing communities. [This means that] different racial and ethnic groups make up even smaller groups within Deaf communities,” says Dr. Fray-Aiken.

She recently completed her PhD in Counselling Psychology. She found that Deaf identities often shrouded other aspects of self. Many layers and identities owned by Deaf people may remain unexplored because their Deafness is seen as their main identity.

Marginalized groups have vivid memories of how damaging social norms can be. 

“Growing up, any time I learned about a Deaf person or saw a Deaf person on TV, they were always white.  For instance, I learned about Helen Keller at school and watched Heather Whitestone win the Miss America pageant - both are white women.  While it was useful to learn of both women’s accomplishments and gave me hope that I, too, can find success in my life regardless of my Deafness, their life experiences and journeys were different to me as they are white and I am not.”

Dr. Fray-Aiken explains that this overlooks the challenges people with complex identities face everyday:

“I randomly came across an article of a mother who struggled to raise her son who was Deaf and Muslim. The main focus of the article was...the mother’s difficulty in relating to her son and her son’s struggle to make sense of his own identity. The question that stood out to me from the article that the son would ask his mother:  “Am I Deaf first or am I Muslim first?” I immediately thought “Wow, why does one have to come before the other?” I questioned myself if there was a hierarchy in forming identities.”

Dr. Fray-Aiken stresses that there is a need to understand the experiences which have shaped a person.

Focusing on Deafness alone creates deep divides. Aspects of self, such as race; gender; sexuality; or something more simple such as common interest in fashion, which may create common ground are often ignored because the focus is on the person’s Deafness.

Deafness can be quite complex. There is beauty in its nuances.

Deaf people are able to interact with a hearing community on a daily basis. It’s how able-bodied people interact, how we explore our own hearing privilege which gives meaning.

The likelihood of a non-Deaf person reading this and then going to learn sign language is slim, but intermingling between Deaf and non-Deaf people helps both parties learn about one another. Once we venture into these spaces, we no longer see marginalized identities to be at fault--creating a psychological crisis which brings about transformation.